Money and marriage…

Disputes and tensions arising from discussions on money are a common occurrence among couples.

Such is the case when finances are misused or used to manipulate, punish and coerce partners into financial sinkholes.

Here are a few financial tips to a happy ending.

Set Aside Time for Money Dates

Yes, I said it.

Money dates just like dinner dates are essential for a relationship that seeks to triumph over financial setbacks.

And, like a normal date, you and your partner should be intentional and set a time and location where you can hold meaningful discussions about money.

Waiting for financial challenges to arise can lead to finger-pointing and blame games.

You can engage each other constructively on financial issues during money dates.

One key takeaway from the discussions should be setting golden rules.

These rules should answer questions such as:

  • How will the household expenses be shared?
  • What are the key spending areas that can and cannot be compromised on?
  • Should or should you not invest in a joint account? If so, how much will each partner contribute?
  • If you have children, should they get an allowance and how.

The list of items to be discussed is endless and varies according to each couple’s needs and goals.

Just remember to have regular check-ins to adjust your rules according to your long-term and short-term goals.

Your Partner’s Spending Lifestyle

Your view of money and spending is influenced by many aspects of life, including your upbringing and background. 

Whereas you might be a saver, your partner can be a spendthrift and vice versa. 

For instance, say that your partner was raised in a low-income family where every single cent had to be accounted for. 

They are likely to be frugal as compared to having been raised in a lifestyle of abundance. 

Therefore, your different backgrounds might create disparities in your money values and spending styles.

As in all things marriage, you each have to compromise in regards to your spending habits. 

Planning your Response to Family Members

In some countries, it is a common occurrence to have one or two family members who occasionally borrow loans from you.

As such, you should decide early on, who you should help and who you should steer clear of.

Most if not all, families have that one dependent person. Some are takers, and others take advantage of your generosity through manipulation.

The extent to which you contribute to these members should be clarified, and you need to respond to situations that you deem appropriate to loan them.

Plan for Emergencies by Setting up an Emergency Trust Fund

Life is unpredictable. Unexpected situations might arise, prompting you to spend over and above your regular budget.

For instance, the recent case of Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) has affected production activities in numerous companies.

For some, these trying economic times are challenging for business owners as they are hardly yielding any profits.

In such a situation, an emergency fund comes in handy.

An emergency fund can be in the form of a savings account, which sets restrictions on the amount and number of withdrawals.

Customers will also experience the following additional benefits:

  • No maintenance fee 
  • Interest payable monthly 
  • No maximum investment or deposit amount

Establish that emergency trust fund now. Do not wait until you are in a fix.

Credit History Openness

One way for couples to practice openness is, to be honest about their credit scores.

This information will be useful in the future when you start making family financial plans and decisions. 

Issues such as bad debts and poor credit ratings from past loans should be addressed as they may come up and affect your current financial status.

In case one or both of you have a poor credit score, you can work together towards improving your CRB status.

Equally, you can make sound decisions such as when and how to invest.

Transparency with your finances

Be open with your spouse about your finances. Remember, trust is an essential pillar for a good relationship.

Openly discussing and considering shared accounts for mutual goals will dispel uncertainty in your relationship.

It is okay to have separate accounts as we all need financial independence. However, when children are involved, joint accounts are a lifesaver.

They come in handy in regards to managing long term goals like school fees, medical emergencies, mortgage, and family travel. 

Remember to be honest about your financial status with your spouse as this will strengthen your relationship and solidify your financial future.

Set Shared Goals

Shared goals are SMART goals. 

Your goals can be anything from buying a house, starting a family business, or having a baby.

When you decide on what you want to achieve, the SMART acronym will serve as a guide on the aspects of goal setting that you need to consider.

Once you have your objectives in place, you will be able to identify and celebrate your milestones.

Your spouse has your best interest at heart.

He or she is always there to motivate you.

He or she is your accountability partner to keep you from backtracking from your set goals.

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